Shwagingha (pronounced: ShwaG-ing-Ya | commonly mispronounced: Shwa-gin-gah and Shwa-ging-ah) is the natural name of the Hidoori elftonic pipester that appears only once every synthetic diamond jubilee (that’s once every 75 Cubit Zirconium growth cycles).

In fact, the image seen on this page is the only known image of a Shwagingha made while it was seen alive by a very patient artist in the field.

While Matisse and Picasso were rumored to have seen Shwagingha, their official estate managers have never confirmed nor denied these reports, leaving them instead to the imagination and interpretation of people who have learned this information.

Could it be that some of the world’s greatest Art Nouveau influencers were themselves influenced by Shwagingha? Our investigative journalists looked into it and found that every single confirmed artist we examined was less than 12 months away from peaking in their career at the time of known Shwagingha appearances. Could it be coincidence? Maybe, and if it is, it’s a pretty impressive one. The odds, after all, are more than 380 Billion to one. (Thanks to Peter Marwik for the data analysis). That makes it even more unlikely than the oddity of the rumor of this infamous heist conspiracy.

The reason for its low rate of appearance is its extreme metabolism, which, by the way, inspired the observer of the following illustration to scribe this poem for the birth of the third Navitian Clamportoidlae, aka: the whisking watercock.

In the last four years, not one, but two of our starving artists here at bqxpd have encountered unique Shwaginga by the Bay side of the Wadongi River, East of New Trundwell in Scamp upon Realms, Lower Watley, Queenswater, on the Isle of Santopanini.

Shwagingha are notoriously complex and infamous for splitting hairs finer than personality, even among a room full of bald accountants and lawyers.

It is rumored that the 1971 version of Woody Allen is actually a Shwaginga who put Mr. Allen in a coma, complete with his full actual memories, aside from the actions of the mimic Shwaginga who used the movie maker’s likeness to misdirect attention away from Earth’s real problems, to focus on that most heinous of habits: Humor.

Shwagingha live in mild climates and are ill-equipped to live in extreme temperatures. They tend to melt in weather that is over 110F, and shatter from being frozen if exposed to weather under -10F for a prolonged period (typically 3 – 5 days).

Should you run into a shwagingha, be sure to keep your distance to under 6 feet. Anything larger than that may provoke an abandonment anxiety fit in the Shwagingha, and could lead to laughter or serious smiles.


What are your thoughts?